Thank you so much for taking the time to graze on over to this article about cow-tipping. I promise you that you will find this article to be amoosing. It is next to impossible to actually tip a cow over and in this article, you will learn how this rural phenomenon is udderly impossible.
The first thing to note about a cow is that they are very beefy animals. The average dairy cow (heifer) weighs about 1,400 pounds (Swearingen) which is even heavier than a sedan or another small car. Even if a cow was standing absolutely still, it would take about five people to muster the force to push the cow (Nuwer). But even this is quite unlikely since cows are not animals that stay still, they are able to shift their weight on their four legs even if somebody did push them (Garber). However, even if there were exactly 5 people and the cow was completely static there is still the issue of biology.
"Biology also complicates the issue here because the faster the [human] muscles have to contract, the lower the force they can produce. But I suspect that even if a dynamic physics model suggests cow tipping is possible, the biology ultimately gets in the way: a cow is simply not a rigid, unresponding body,"
-Dr. Margo Lillie, Zoologist
Image: Diagram adapted from Popular Mechanics, using the work of Dr. Margo Lillie and Tracy Boecher. Image Source
Now, anyone who claims that they have successfully tipped a cow should be a laughing stock of the town! Some more evidence to debunk this myth is that cows don’t even sleep standing up. Cows spend a decent amount of time on their stomachs digesting food and just laying down and relaxing (Swearingen).
To milk this point even further, cows are also very wary creatures. When a group of cows are lying down in a pasture, you may notice that the cows in the herd are all facing different directions, this is because cows have a natural tendency to look out for the ladies and look out for any potential predators that could be seen or herd to be lurking about (Swearingen).
However, there could be some rare (not well-done) chances of a successful cow tip. If the cow is standing on an incline and you manage to push it over, then because of the cow being on an unlevel surface, she may be able to tip using human force (Simon and Swearingen). Also according to the mathematical diagram listed below, if you were able to push at just the right angle with the exact amount of force applied, perhaps ol’ Bessie could be toppled.
Mooving along to the final point, if cow-tipping is almost physically impossible, why do we still believe that it’s possible? One explanation could be that the image of a large animal that seems immovable suddenly tipping over like a teacup is quite funny that some people are over the moon about it. Pop culture is also to blame for the escalation of this rural myth.
Even the movie Heathers is responsible for this rural myth, when Kurt and Ram stoop about and tip over cows, put cow tipping into the cultural zeitgeist. In the Beavis and Butthead 1994 episode “Cow-Tipping” in season 4, our titular characters after watching a milk commercial, graze on over to a field to tip a cow but the cow ends up crushing Beavis. Finally, in the dystopian film Disney Pixar’s Cars Mater and Lighting McQueen have a bonding activity tipping tractors. This myth also probably persists because it is another game that drunk teenagers can try to do and cause mischief and brag to their friends (Swearingen).
Image: The real life Dairy Queen. Image Source
Garber, Megan “The Mathematical Formula that Proves Cow-Tipping is a Myth” The Atlantic Sept. 4, 2013 https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/09/the-mathematical-formula-that-proves-cow-tipping-is-a-myth/279357/
Nuwer, Rachel. “Cow Tipping Never Was And Never Will Be a Thing People Actually Do.” Smithsonian Magazine, Sept. 5th, 2013. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/cow-tipping-never-was-and-never-will-be-a-thing-people-actually-do-3867017/
Simon, Scott and Swearingen, Jake “Cow Tipping: The Myth that just Won’t Stand Up” NPR, Sept. 7, 2013 https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=219963377
Swearingen, Jake “Cow Tipping: Fake or Really Fake?” Modern Farmer. Sept. 4, 2013 https://modernfarmer.com/2013/09/cow-tipping-myth-or-bullcrap/